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Monday, September 7, 2009

Those Wolves Are Real Pigs

Lately, the kids started cracking incredible jokes. This morning we had our serious morning discussion with Boris and Andrej while Jelica is neither blogging nor camping at the notorious blog camp in Copenhagen. I don't know what these guys are doing out there. They must be setting some new age Odin sect whose followers perform their worship in blue rooms instead of churches.

So, these are the kinds of conversations that take place on the morning bed.

Andrej said 'Did you see the wolf coming down in the living room?'

I said 'Coming down from where?', imagining an ET wolf landing in the living room.

Andrei said 'He was holding to the lamp and he came down, didn't you see him?'

I agreed with him, impressed with his quick thinking as actually this is the only place a wolf can realistically come down from in a living room.

Boris, realising that this is a serious debate he was being left out from said 'Oh, I slept so profoundly that I didn't notice the wolf this night'

Then Andrej said 'I am a pig'.

Then I said 'No, you are not a pig. You are a little piglet at the most'.

To which Andrej answered 'The wolf is a pig!'. I didn't answer anything wondering if it was a wolf or a pig that came down from the lamp in the living room this night.

Two days ago there was another line that I liked a lot. It was raining outside, we were coming home and then all of a sudden Boris said 'Daddy, do you want us to pay attention to you now?'. What could I answer to such a kind offer but accept. He was acting so differently from the peasants in Brueghel's picture the Fall of Icarus a commentary on which you might have missed as Jelica poured on top of it some hot news from the same Odin sect meeting in the blue temple.

Today in the afternoon we were driving with the car with Boris and Andrej when we saw a fire truck on the street.

Boris says 'What is this fire truck doing here?' I say 'I don't know', really not understanding what they are doing in the middle of the road. Then Boris says 'They must be putting several houses on fire. I know that's what they are doing in Serbia'. Then I start laughing and explain that fire fighters extinguish fires rather than put them up. What would the world be like if fire fighters put houses on fire and arsonists - extinguis the fires?

Later this afternoon we are walking along Andrassy, I bought them a pack of chewing gums and gave them one each and put the rest in my pocket - a currency more precious than gold. A bit later, I take one chewing gum too. Boris asks 'Why are you taking a chewing gum?' I say 'I am a human being. I have the right to have a chewing gum'. Boris answers 'So human beings eat chewing gums too?' I say 'Yes'.

10 min. ago they get up from bed to brush their teeth in a team. Andrej wants to drink water from a dirty cup. I say 'Don't drink from this cup. It is dirty.' Andrej starts crying so I give him water from the dirty cup as it is not that dirty after all and the least thing I want after 14 hours with them is to be unreasonably tough. Then Boris says in a whining voice 'I want to drink from the dirty cup toooooo'. So never underestimate dirty cups. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.


julochka said...

this really cracks me up. have you seen Ju's blog? she's blogging all of the hilarious things her children say.

the odin sect meeting is officially closed and jelica is safely on the train towards the airport and home. a good time was had by all.

next time, you should come too!

Ruslan said...

Julochka, the good time has been appreciated and duly reported :-)

Anonymous said...

Из удовольствий наиболее приятны те, которые встречаются наиболее редко. Самые, лучшие духи в маленьких флаконах. Отдайтесь вашему делу всем сердцем и душою, но посмотрите прежде всего хорошее ли это дело. Разумный гонится за тем что приятно, а за тем что избавляет отнеприятностей. Вся Россия, это пьющий Гамлет.

Ruslan said...

Dear Anonymous,

I am missing a Cyrillic keyboard to answer in Russian. Thanks for assuming that I speak Russian which is indeed true.

You are absolutely right that the best pleasures are in shortest supply. I also agree that one should give one's best to an occupation but only after asking oneself if it is a worthy one.

I don't have an opinion on your statement that all Russia is a drinking Hamlet. It sounds poetic but one cannot understand if it is a critical or self-romanticizing statement.